O Natal ficou sem Menino Jesus e tornou-se a festa do cone iluminado , por HELENA MATOS



De repente no meio da rua lá está aquela tranquitana metalico-luminosa a que chamamos árvore de Natal. E foi perante aquele cone iluminado, artefacto que nos sobrou devidamente expurgado de tudo o que possa identificar aquilo que somos, o que sentimos, o donde vimos, que me dei conta de como em nome da segurança, da tolerância, da saúde e de sei lá mais o quê estamos a criar um mundo faz de conta. Um mundo em que:
  • O bolo rei já não tem brinde.
  • O iogurte ficou sem lactose.
  • As natas perderam a gordura.
  • O leite vem da soja e não das vacas.
  • Os doces ficaram sem açúcar.
  • Os bolos não têm farinha.
  • O café perdeu a cafeína.
  • A manteiga ficou magra.
  • O pão não tem glúten.
  • O circo ficou sem leões, depois sem elefantes e agora sem animais.
  • A humanidade ficou sem sexos e dizem que está perder o interesse pelo sexo.
  • O namoro ficou sem palavras por causa do assédio.
  • A Bela Adormecida ficou sem beijo porque o príncipe foi acusado de abuso.
  • A Capuchinho Vermelho já não é salva pelo caçador que também deixou de caçar e o lobo ficou vegetariano.
  • Os maridos e as mulheres passaram a cônjuges.
  • Os parques infantis ficaram sem escorregas de verdade. E alguns sem baloiços.
  • Chama-se a televisão em vez da polícia.
  • Os brinquedos ficaram sem graça mas estão cheios de didatismo.
  • As crianças não têm tempo para não fazer nada.
  • A má educação tornou-sebullying.
  • Os pátios das escolas já não têm árvores nem terra.
  • As gaiolas ficaram sem grilos.
  • Os filhos não têm pai nem mãe mas sim progenitores.
  • As feiras não têm graça.
  • O atirei o pau ao gato ficou sem letra.
  • A mentira tornou-se inverdade.
  • A culpa é alegada.
  • A verdade inconveniente.
  • O artesanato é certificado.
  • A fruta não tem bicho.
  • Brincar é uma actividade devidamente monitorizada.
  • Os filmes não contam histórias, ilustram teses.
  • As universidades tornaram-se uma liga de costumes.
  • As coisas deixaram de ser o que são para se tornarem num dado a avaliar consoante o seu enquadramento numa perspectiva condicionada por diversas valências.
  • Tudo é relativo.
O Natal ficou sem Menino Jesus e tornou-se a festa do cone iluminado.

Comentários

  1. Pessimismo no seu melhor. Um texto destes angariará mais leitores a essa senhora?
    Faltou dizer (ou talvez não; acabei por não ler todo o texto) que “antigamente” as crianças andavam de bicicleta sem capacete e sobreviveram. Mesmo que as estatísticas indiquem que 80 ou 85 % das lesões são devido ao não uso do capacete.
    Ainda bem que há produtos sem lactose, não acha, Pedro?! Para seu e meu bem estar!! Iogurte e queijo sem lactose. Será que haverá um tipo de queijo da serra sem lactose?

    ResponderEliminar
  2. Deveria ter escrito negativismo em vez de pessimismo.

    ResponderEliminar
    Respostas
    1. Uma crónica um bocado ácida, não é, Catarina?
      Foi por isso mesmo que a publiquei.
      Faz-me lembrar o rezingão dos sete anões :)))

      Eliminar
  3. Meia dúzia de verdades mostradas misturadas com uma grande dose de exagero.
    Abraço

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    Respostas
    1. Tenho de repetir as palavras do Pedro.
      A Elvira sempre tão acutilante, acerta no alvo ao primeiro tiro :)

      Eliminar
    2. Estamos na mesma onda, Portuguesinha

      Eliminar
  4. Helena Matos acutilante e lúcida!
    A mim o que incomoda é ver cada vez mais crianças sem Natal. O resto são tretas.
    Gostei da partilha.
    Beijo.

    ResponderEliminar
    Respostas
    1. Esse é mesmo o grande problema, Teresa.
      Quem não tem, não sabe o que é Natal.
      Beijo

      Eliminar
  5. Pedro, sem dúvida que pode ser
    um alerta para que o "nosso mundo" não acabe por ficar totalmente abstrato e virtual, assim vejo o texto !
    vamos para lá: sem sair de casa, há hologramas à nossa volta que não precisamos de alimentar, cães e gatos robots que não precisamos de levar á rua nem se descuidam nos tapetes, portas com voz em vez de porteiras cuscas, árvores de natal que não precisam de ser regadas, o próprio menino Jesus não tem propriamente já o seu espaço, porque coitadinho, precisa de carinho, cheio de frio, e não estaremos virados para coisas ou pessoas que precisam de alguma coisa !?

    ResponderEliminar
  6. Gostei muito, Pedro.
    Também vou citá-lo em Dezembro.
    Beijinho
    ~~~

    ResponderEliminar
  7. Helena Matos, que não aprecio muito, tem razão nalgumas coisas das que aqui diz, noutras nem tanto. Mas concordo de todo com ela quando lamenta que se tenha esquecido o Menino Jesus e o trocassem por senhor barrigudo inventado por uma multinacional exploradora sediada nos EUA

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    Respostas
    1. O seu comentário fez-me sorrir, São :)
      Nem cegonhas nem Menino Jesus, um barrigudo, barbudo, com prendas.

      Eliminar
  8. Quanto ao circo não ter animais, é fácil :
    E contratar o senhor ou amigos do PAN e as meninas do BE !

    ResponderEliminar
    Respostas
    1. Aqui, na Alemanha, o circo não tem animais, sem termos o PAN, nem o Bloco da Esquerda.
      O que aqui temos, é também o respeito pelos animais.

      Eliminar
    2. Nunca fui muito amante de circos.
      Cirque du Soleil, alguns espectáculos deles, isso sim.
      O circo tradicional, não obrigado.

      Eliminar
    3. Cirque du Soleil é absolutamente maravilhoso, sem precisar de animais 🐯

      Eliminar
  9. Alguns exageros, mas inúmeras verdades, uma delas é a substituição do Menino Jesus pelo cone.
    É mais fácil para mim não fazer a árvore do que não ter o Menino perto de mim.

    Beijos Pedro

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    Respostas
    1. Festa da família, Manu, Natal é a festa da família.
      O resto é folclore.
      Beijos

      Eliminar
  10. No meu Natal o menino Jesus é a minha família, o resto é paisagem.

    O texto da Helena Matos é deveras interessante e em certos aspectos exprime a minha opinião sobre o mundo actual.

    ResponderEliminar
    Respostas
    1. Remeto para a resposta que dei à Manu, Teresa.
      Estamos na mesma onda.

      Eliminar
  11. Embora não completamente acertado, não me parece totalmente desacertado. E não, não sou uma pessoa amarga. Cada um vive o Natal como quer. Cá em casa o presépio ainda não perdeu o seu lugar. O menino Jesus está sempre presente.

    ResponderEliminar
    Respostas
    1. O presépio é um hábito e um símbolo.
      Que tem que ser respeitado enquanto tal.

      Eliminar
  12. é a evolução natural das coisas. umas no mau sentido, outras no bom sentido.

    ResponderEliminar
  13. O problema não é o ficar "sem". É o que tem "invés de".

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