A dog named SEX

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". 

I call my dog "Sex".

Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. 

When I went to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. 

He said, "Id like to have one too." 

Then I said, "But this is a dog." 

He said I didn't care what she looked like. 

Then I said, "You don't understand, Ive had Sex since I was 9 years old." 

He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.

 I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. 

He said that every room in the place was for sex. 

I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The Clerk said "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. 

Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. 

I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest. 

He told me that I should have sold tickets. 

"But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on television." 

He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog.

 I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I got married." 

The judge said "Me too." 

Then I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me. 

He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. 

I spent hours looking around town for him. 

A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?" 

I said, "Im looking for Sex..."

My court date has been set for Friday...