Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy".
I call my dog "Sex".
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.
When I went to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex.
He said, "Id like to have one too."
Then I said, "But this is a dog."
He said I didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "You don't understand, Ive had Sex since I was 9 years old."
He said I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said that every room in the place was for sex.
I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The Clerk said "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away.
Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around.
I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest.
He told me that I should have sold tickets.
"But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on television."
He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog.
I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I got married."
The judge said "Me too."
Then I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me.
He said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again.
I spent hours looking around town for him.
A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?"
I said, "Im looking for Sex..."
My court date has been set for Friday...